The NBA is on the way back, which for many of us means only one thing: It’s time for MUSCLEWATCH!
For the uninitiated — and at this point, who among us hasn’t been initiated? — MUSCLEWATCH began over two decades ago, when my friend Matt and I noticed at the start of each season that some player would report to NBA training camp having added “15 pounds of muscle.” For whatever reason, it was never 12 pounds, never 17 pounds, but always “15 pounds of muscle.” And this always made us laugh.
Once I started covering the NBA, and as Google became sentient, I was able to compile MUSCLEWATCH data from around the league. Over time, MUSCLEWATCH became about more than just the requisite 15 pounds of muscle, but about which players showed up for training camp having gained or lost weight.
These days, as players show up and face the media each fall, I get inundated with tweets from fans who scour their local news for reports relevant to MUSCLEWATCH. And honestly, this is my favorite part of MUSCLEWATCH, how a dumb word my friend Matt and I made up has become a integral part of the NBA lexicon. Many news sites now use the word freely, as if it’s their own, which I am completely fine with. Over the last few weeks, I got texts from NBA players, GMs and team officials alerting me to MUSCLEWATCH stories from around the league. MUSCLEWATCH fans are on Twitter calling for MUSCLEWATCH updates, so we have no choice but to fire up the MUSCLEWATCH machine!
Of course, this MUSCLEWATCH report is a little different than in previous years. This is the first-ever in-season MUSCLEWATCH, as teams regather after a few months off because of the coronavirus. Players have had the chance to let their bodies heal from injuries they dealt with during the season, and some players were able to add or subtract pounds from where they were last season.
Let’s turn our eyes to the scales for a new edition of MUSCLEWATCH…
First of all, we learned at the very outset of the quarantine period when we were blessed with “The Last Dance,” that the GOAT himself, Michael Jordan, may have unwittingly helped pioneer MUSCLEWATCH. As MJ’s trainer Tim Grover explained, when Jordan was physically getting beat up by the Bad Boy teams of the Pistons, Jordan went to the weight room and added 15 pounds of muscle.
Back to the present day, our own presumptive Rookie of the Year Ja Morant has apparently spent the quarantine in the weight room…
I do find it suspicious that Ja gained 12 pounds of muscle, his exact uniform number. In related news, Ja said he was comfortable with the food options at Disney World inside the bubble, since he was actually “a ramen noodle guy.”
I’m not sure any NBA superstar has ever said anything so relatable to me, personally. I feel like we gotta turn this into a “Cooking With Lang” segment down the road.
Utah Jazz back-up Tony Bradley reports that he accidentally added a lot of MUSCLE during the time off…
I actually did the same thing, completely by accident. Don’t you hate it when that happens?
Down the road from Memphis in N’awlins, all sorts of MUSCLE-related things have been happening. Let’s begin with Zion Williamson, who initially looked like he lost some weight and added some MUSCLE during the time off.
But upon the Pelicans’ landing in Orlando, things weren’t quite as clear.
I’m really looking forward to getting some crack NBA reporters inside the bubble to get to the bottom of this.
Elsewhere from New Orleans, Yahoo’s Chris Haynes reports a plethora of MUSCLEWATCH news…
The common thread here seems to be the former Duke players are all over the place. JJ Redick, meanwhile, seems to have found a way to put some weight back on…
Something must be in the water in Orlando. First of all, Magic forward Isaac Bonga used the time off to get his “nutrition right,” and he’s put on 8 pounds of MUSCLE.
Eight pounds is impressive, of course, but it’s nothing compared to what his teammate Mo Bamba was able to do during the quarantine. Bamba managed to add a record 28 pounds during the hiatus, and he says “a lot of it is muscle.” How much is “a lot,” is the real question here.
Lakers guard Rajon Rondo has apparently been in the weight room and looks “like he’s 21 years old again,” according to ESPN’s Dave McMenamin. Here’s a video of Rondo shooting free throws and he does indeed appear to have put on some MUSCLE. Although I’m not sure Rondo was this jacked even when he was 21.
Celtics forward Jayson Tatum wants to be on MUSCLEWATCH, but he doesn’t want to share specifics…
To each his own.
Sacramento big man Marvin Bagley hasn’t been part of the rotation for the Kings this season, but he’s apparently trying to MUSCLE his way back into things…
Toronto’s Chris Boucher has added 15 pounds during the quarantine. I’m going to assume it’s MUSCLE.
And finally, a little news from outside the bubble, where Bulls point guard Coby White has added ten pounds of muscle…