Like we always do at this time, just as college football is kicking off we take a spin through the most powerful conference in college football, the SEC, and we will take a look at just how much power the coaches from around the most powerful conference are wielding. No one man should have all this power? Well, in the SEC, they rarely do, at least not for long.
The rules are simple. As I wrote last year, “Figuring out an SEC’s coach’s place within the SEC hierarchy is no easy feat. There are no written rules, no strict structures by which we can rank these gentlemen. Instead, it’s as much an art form as anything. Each school is a unique situation, a fluid situation requiring a reading of the actual program, the boosters, the alumni, the fan bases, and how each coach exists within that spectrum.”
And so, I ranked these coaches using a thorough, rigorous process that altogether required about sixty seconds. Because when you know, you know.
Now let’s dig in…
14. Bryan Harsin, Auburn – You know that scene in Mad Max: Fury Road where all the steampunk-y people load up in those modified cars and grab their flamethrowers and electric guitars and start hauling ass through the desert? And it seems simultaneously scary yet also kinda cool? That’s what the Auburn community must seem like to Auburn coach Bryan Harsin. He’s been at Auburn for one season, finished with a 6-7 record, but the Auburn fans and boosters have been all over him the entire time. From reports of harsh player treatment to allegations of unsavory personal behavior, Harsin has been under relentless attack, and the calls were coming from inside his own house! The good news, I guess, is that Harsin managed to hang on to his job and return for season two. The bad news is that the guy who hired Harsin and thus had his back, Auburn AD Allen Greene, just announced that he’s leaving the Plains. Which doesn’t bode well for Harsin.
13. Clark Lea, Vanderbilt – Hey, if you didn’t notice, Vanderbilt is currently in first place in the SEC! This coming on the heels of a season-opening blowout (63-10!) win at Hawaii. The bar for success for Vanderbilt couldn’t be lower: Put together a competent team, win a few non-conference games, make sure your players make good grades, and basically just don’t embarrass the rest of the school while you cash those SEC checks. In his press conferences, Clark Lea seems to have grand ambitions–he reminds me of a corporate villain from a superhero movie—but winning even one game in the SEC this season would cement his status as Vanderbilt coach for the next decade. I don’t think Vandy will win an SEC game, but as I said last week on The Odds Couple, I do think they will beat the over (2.5) for the season.
12. Eli Drinkwitz, Missouri – Recruiting, particularly in the SEC, is a feral, unpredictable animal. Fans eat up those recruiting rankings, and many people look at them as gospel truth, even though they really don’t mean all that much. OK, sure, they mean you’re better than other people at convincing kids to come to your school, but your skill at recruiting doesn’t directly translate into wins and losses. Dan Mullen learned this at Florida, where fans seized on his recruiting losses and used it to whip themselves into a frenzy, and when combined with actual losses it directly led to his ouster.
Eli Drinkwitz has finished two seasons at Missouri, including the COVID year in ‘21, where he is a combined 11-12. It’s been almost a decade since Missouri had tangible success in the SEC East, and Drinkwitz was expected to take a few years to turn things around. But the thing keeping him afloat right now is the recruiting class he brought in, which is ranked in the top 15 nationally and includes the number one wide receiver in the nation, Luther Burden. He’ll have a few years to show and prove with this class.
11. Shane Beamer – I like Shane Beamer. I know that doesn’t count for anything, not officially, but from the outside, Beamer seems like an affable guy from a heralded college football family who players and fans can trust to do his best. Does that help the Gamecocks win games? Maybe a little? I do know South Carolina has leaned on the transfer portal, and they brought in Oklahoma transfer Spencer Rattler, who was a Heisman candidate until he actually started playing. (And if Lincoln Riley can’t turn you into a great college QB, can Shane Beamer?) Either way, I think Beamer has at least another year before the fans sic ol’ Cock Commander on him.
10. Mike Leach – The unpredictability of Mike Leach was always sort of the best thing about him – he was this oddball offensive genius who would say or do anything at any time.
In some ways, all the funky stuff (like his dedication to cargo shorts) has overshadowed the fact that I think Miss State is going to be OK this year. Will Rogers is back at QB, and they return a solid group of defenders. What works against them is their killer schedule, as well as being in the mighty SEC West.
9. Sam Pittman – Arkansas is another school, like Mississippi State, that’s basically hamstrung by being in the SEC West. If they were in the SEC East, they may be the second-best team. But they are in the SEC West, and despite having KJ Jefferson back at QB, Pittman will have to fight for his life to win 6 games this season. The good news is I don’t think he’s in any jeopardy of getting run out of Fayetteville anytime soon. After the terrible trifecta of John L. Smith, Bret Bielema and Chad Morris, Arkansas fans should have their expectations appropriately lessened. (Well, Arkansas superfan Jerry Jones still probably thinks they can contend for a title. Sure.)
8. Josh Heupel – There were times last season, during Heupel’s first campaign in Knoxville, where the Volunteers looked…not bad? I hesitate to say they looked great, because, well, they didn’t look great. But there were moments or flashes or even flashes of moments where you could see threads of what the Vols might become down the road. Hendon Hooker seems to have settled into the starting QB role, and Cedric Tillman is back to keep hauling in TDs. With Tennessee, I mostly wonder if their defense will be good enough to keep them in games. It’s eventually going to come down to Heupel’s ability to bring in blue chip recruits.
7. Jimbo Fisher – So, Jimbo Fisher finally beat Nick Saban, which was apparently enough of an accomplishment to get him a massive contract extension through 2031. I don’t think Jimbo is getting fired anytime soon, especially with a great recruiting class on deck, but is he taking TAMU anywhere atm? Like, what would a realistic season be for the Aggies? If they went 9-3, would that be good enough to keep fans happy? 10-2? Meanwhile, it seems like 8-4 might be a more realistic (or even optimistic) finish for TAMU. And I don’t know how happy that will make folks in College Station, especially with Texas and Oklahoma knocking on the SEC’s door.
6. Bill(y) Napier – One of the best places to be in the SEC is when you are a new coach, without even a game under your belt. You are presumably coming after someone else who didn’t do well enough to keep their job, so the entire fanbase is rooting for you, and hoping you are the guy who can finally turn things around. (Well, unless you’re Bryan Harsin.) Things have ended badly with every coach in Gainesville since Urban Meyer won a title in 2008, and maybe Billy Napier will be the coach who finally breaks the cycle. I actually think they could be sneaky-good this season, if Anthony Richardson can stay healthy.
In the meantime, Napier can’t say he doesn’t have enough help. Look at the size of the staff in this recently posted team photo!
5. Lane Kiffin – Sometimes there’s just a good fit. The Ole Miss job opened up in 2019, after Matt Luke was fired when Ole Miss lost to Mississippi State following an incident where a player pretended to pee like a dog on the field. (I can’t believe I just wrote that sentence. College football is so great.) Matt Luke, who is so wholesome he actually shares names with half of the Gospels, steadied the ship in Oxford, but they needed someone like Lane to help the team reach the levels of audacity and zaniness that are expected in The Sip.
Ole Miss won 10 games last season, but with the loss of Matt Corrall and many others, Lane has dipped way down deep into the transfer portal. Will it hurt any continuity Kiffin was building? Or is this just the way college football works these days? Either way, Kiffin is such a seamless fit in Oxford I think he’ll be around as long as he wants to be.
4. Mark Stoops – A small kerfuffle erupted a few weeks ago when Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari said Kentucky was a basketball school. Mark Stoops immediately took exception, and I sort of understand his unhappiness, since Kentucky has posted two 10-win seasons under Stoops. With Will Levis returning at QB, the Wildcats should be a solid second in the SEC East, although I can’t imagine any scenario under which they’re good enough to vault into the top spot over UGA.
Kentucky football is in a nice place, and Stoops is in the rare position of being able to write his own ticket at Kentucky, and hang around as long as he wants to be in Lexington. I don’t know if they’ll ever get to that next level, but I also don’t know if that’s a job requirement at Kentucky.
(And for what it’s worth, let’s just be clear: Kentucky is a basketball school.)
3. Brian Kelly – LSU hiring Kelly was genuinely surprising, but in hindsight it makes a lot of sense. On the heels of Ed Orgeron and his southern-fried rambling in Baton Rouge, Kelly is someone who can come in and imprint a level of organization and stability, while also presumably recruiting the heck out of Louisiana and the surrounding areas. LSU was awful the last two years, but I think that was much of a title hangover as anything, and I think they’re going to be over .500 this season. Eventually, perhaps Kelly can find some sustainable success in the Bayou.
2. Kirby Smart – Coming off UGA’s first national title in forty years, freshly blessed with a huge contract extension, no coach in America is safer than Kirby. Except for…
1. Nick Saban – When you think about it, Alabama was just a few plays away from winning it all last season. This year they are deeper and more experienced than they were a year ago. Will Anderson has a legit shot at winning the Heisman on defense, while the actual Heisman winner returns on offense for the Tide. Alabama has to be the runaway favorite to win it all this season, and if there’s anything we’ve learned about Nick Saban over the years, it’s that he won’t rest until he beats everyone else.
And then he wants to wake up and do it all over again.