Two weeks ago on a Friday morning, about 36 hours before the fourth annual NBA 2K League Draft, I came into the office to button up all of the last-minute details. I made a quick appearance on “Rise & Grind,” the Grind City Media morning show, to talk about the draft; I cleaned up our practice facility and moved boxes; I printed out all the paperwork necessary for draft night just so I’d have hard copies of everything at my fingertips, as a backup. We had four picks (14, 16, 32, 36) in the first two rounds of the draft, and we’d spent months preparing for every eventuality. We were ready to go.
And then I had a panic attack.
Actually, at first I wasn’t sure what was happening. I broke out in a light sweat, and my stomach started rumbling. I felt woozy and tired, and I managed to get to my car and make the drive home. Once inside, I took my temperature, which was 98.7, which was enough to immediately convince me that I had COVID-19 (despite being fully vaccinated against it). My hands got clammy, so I climbed into bed, pulled the covers up to my ears and tried to breathe deeply.
I didn’t want to admit it, but I knew what was happening — this wasn’t my first rodeo with anxiety. Why would I be having a panic attack? Well, because there was a lot riding on the 2K League Draft. We’d spent the last four months assiduously prepping, thanks to our returning players Authentic African and Vandi, as well as our scout, Token. We made our draft boards, ran numerous mock drafts, and after hundreds of hours of discussion, we knew the players we wanted, the players we felt would fit best within our system. We had plans, back-up plans, and even had a trade agreed upon and ready to go in case the guys we wanted were gone by the time we were on the clock.
And then, it was out of our hands. Hopefully our guys would be there when we picked. There was nothing we could do but watch and wait, to let things unfold. Which was just about when my nervous system decided to revolt.
I wanted to write about going through all of that because I want you, my dear reader, to understand the stakes at play here. There are literally millions of dollars of prize money at play, enough money to change the lives of the 2K League players. I wanted to make sure I put the Grizz Gaming team in the best possible situation to be successful. Which caused anxiety.
I also wanted to write about all of that to admit that hey, it happens. As good as I am at putting on a brave face and acting as though I know exactly what I am doing at all times, the truth is, I’m human. I fail. I have flaws. I wrestle with doubts and fears, the same as anyone else, maybe even more than some people—I’ve just become really good at swallowing that anxiety and putting forth a brave face. The flip side? A few times a year, all that stress and anxiety bubbles up into an afternoon like I had last week, which isn’t fun.
Oh, and the draft? Well, after that stress, after all that worrying, it went exactly how we hoped it would go. We guessed that there would be an early run on one position, which is what happened with the shooting guards, and as a result, our highest-rated power forward, Spartxn, fortuitously fell to us at 14. Then the shooting guard who we felt would be a perfect fit for our backcourt, Chess, was there for us at 16. The lockdown defender we prioritized, Follow, somehow got to us at 32. Finally, with 36, we were able to bring back our guy DDouble, who had a great offseason playing Pro-Am, can play multiple positions at a very high level, and keeps the vibes good.
All that stress, all that worry, for nothing. The truth is, I stressed myself out over this draft because I wanted to hit a home run. Grizz Gaming has been through three seasons, and we’ve finished one win out of the playoffs in each of the three seasons. If it wasn’t so ridiculous, it would probably be humorous. But I’m past the point of laughing. We want to make the postseason, by hook or by crook, and thanks to this draft, we feel like we’ve put ourselves in a best possible position to get there. All of us worked hard this offseason, proving that we belong in this league. Now we get to show what happens when you grind harder than you’ve ever grinded before.
A few days after the draft, we gathered on Zoom for our first meeting as a group, and I left the guys with one thought: The seven of us on that call were all going into this season with something to prove. We have each, for various reasons, been overlooked, doubted, mistrusted. This is our chance to prove what we can do. Together. We can individually show our worth, of course, but if we all buy in, and we trust and believe, we can accomplish something amazing as a group, as a team.
Together.